For the earlier months of the year, I was still part of the Graduate Trainee program in my company, but the last assignment was the best part of the overall journey as a GT. I enjoyed the environment, had opportunity to go to Kotabumi (see my adventure in this post), a place where I will not go for a trip, and had a real good time with the folks. But nothing lasts forever, I had to move for my permanent position after I graduated from the GT program, and I needed to really adapt with the new environment in a fast pace. 

Catching up things in the new environment, where you have no one else but yourself who can handle your job, was indeed not easy. I don't even have teammate in the same place as me for this new role, and gush of loneliness sometimes devours me. Nobody around me understand the role that I needed to do, and since I'm not part of the team in Indonesia, nobody would care whether I'm there or not. That was my thoughts and struggles for several months in my new position. Things went haywire with all the expectations and pressure here and there. I was sad, angry, tired, and all those negative emotions swirl up inside me. I faked my smiles every single day, putting facade as to not showing my pitiful thoughts. And life indeed loves to give challenges and make it harder for me. One day, I got into a sticky problem due to my own stupidity, and it drown me even more to rock-bottom side of my life. 

Everyday felt like a misery, filled with guilt, and bitterness (that's why I'm unable to post anything for the past year, I didn't represent this blog at all that time). But fortunately, I realized that actually there are people around me who truly cares about me, and they supported me through thick and thin (you know who you are, right?💕). Thus, I learned to push through the difficulties in my life, and to be more aware of my own perceptions towards things. I started viewing things differently, thinking more before I do something, and learning to let go. Even if I let go of things, if it's meant to be mine, then it will come back to me for sure, isn't it? 

Bring it on 2020! 💪